Don’t Shimmy Just Yet


Shake, rather.

While perusing a large amount of music by The Ramones, I got to drifting off to a story I’ve been thinking of writing for  a long time. I haven’t written anything serious in quite some time, and people have always told me they love my work. I suppose it’s back to form as I try my hand at some writing.

For real.

My writing is how I want it to be, I hate following conformity and rules, I find it constricting to the mood and style I wish to convey. If enough interest is expressed, I will publish more, else, it will be a private work that will no longer continue here. It has nothing but a nameless, working title right now. Read on…

The media… it puts a crazy spin on everything. Our very views of what’s acceptable, fashionable, and moral come from it. Almost everything in our culture is purely based around what the media says. Some people really believe in the power of one, but the media is a very massive “one”. I think about how many things they’ve made us look at through an imaginative kaleidoscope, and realize it’s almost endless.

One thing they’ve glorified a bit is the modern espionage agent… yes, spies. You shouldn’t be rolling your eyes, Spying isn’t about being some coincidental, hapless schmuck who works at a retail store and happens to be the government’s biggest asset. Nor is it about sneaking around in cardboard boxes with an endless supply of tranquilizer bullets.

Espionage… I would say, is a bit more boring than that. Think of what espionage truly is, gathering information while having your identity kept secret. I once heard somewhere, “You live a lie and you live it perfectly, lest you die.” Sounds kind of cheesy, since it rhymes, but it’s quite accurate. You must be opaque, natural, manipulative, persuasive, and misleading. One might say… become the perfect vision of a person. You always get what you want, but you do it without letting others know what you’re doing. Simple to say, difficult to do. There are always those who are exceptions to rules… people like you’ve never encountered and you can’t predict them, so they’re less likable.

Hm, what I mean to say is, the easier to predict, the easier the job.

I remember from a young age, I always loved sneaking around and spying on people. What draws people to this type of thing? It’s very simple… the truth. In my opinion there are two types of truth, the truth handed to you, and the truth you see with your own eyes. Spying lets you see the latter in the most thrilling way.

Imagine you’re trying to gather some very tender information, confronting someone directly about it will either end in rejection, termination, or a lie. How do you avoid it? I’m sure you’ve guessed it, you’re going to need to do some spy work of some kind. It doesn’t take much imagination to play out a scenario where you’re listening in on a phone conversation, or tapping an informant for information, or outright hiding in the shadows and eavesdropping.

You may gain knowledge of things far beyond what you had expected, and what does information do for you? Puts you at quite the advantage, doesn’t it? You stay ahead of the game this way, dodge the pitfalls, create solutions, baffle the once baffle-less. Not only that, but you may find out the hard truth, truth that is not skewed in any way, truth… that puts on no disguise because you aren’t there.

You’ve been buried out in the snow for quite some time… you’ve finally gotten your opportunity. The time has come for you to scale this grey building and take a look inside. For some reason, the front is heavily guarded, but your careful movements show  no security at the rear. Poised, you wait for the right gust of snow flurry and move in silently within the great noise and plaster yourself up against the building softly. You muffle a cough as best you can on the sleeve of your extreme conditions jacket, and turn around and look upwards. You see the frigid ladder and begin your ascent. It’s cold… you feel the bite on your nose, but the knowledge you’re about to get is worth the lifetime of wait! You reach the roof and… curses! It’s rounded, unfortunate for these conditions, but it’s too late now. You clamber as quietly as you can across the roof to the   rotunda you saw from afar and the glint of definitely glass thereon. You take a deep breath and peer inside, your heart racing,you know no one knows what you’re about to find out!

“Santa exists!”, you shout in your head, “Santa exists!”, over and over…

That kind of thrill, that’s what I mean. Truth to be seen without clouding or uncertainty. The thought of knowing what you aren’t supposed to know, the thought of knowing the most guarded secrets in the world. That is what drew me to becoming a professional of the art of espionage, but that was then, this is now….


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