Hello, my name is Oprah, although some people inexplicably refer to me as “Ness”. I am on an adventure of sorts, and after TWO near death experiences involving scalding espresso, I decided to chronicalize my adventures in a journal. Unfortunately, I can only clearly remember back to Day 13 of my journey, so that’s where I’ll begin. I plan to update this daily, or almost daily, until my adventure is over.
Read the rest of the entry after the break.
After saving Threed from the immediate threat of zombies, mostly thanks to Apple Kid’s brilliance, we decided to go to the source. We headed through the once perilous graveyard, toward a secret grave which the zombies were guarding previously. Unfortunately for us, the grave was filled to the brim with the undead. After hacking our way through the undead, we came upon what we thought was the infamous, Master Belch. Unfortunately, he identified himeself as Barf Jr. and had the nerve to try to steal our Fly Honey! Needless to say, we put the smackdown on him and made our way out of the grave.
After emerging from the grave, we just stood still and let our eyes adjust to the light.
Oh! I should probably explain who “we” are. There’s me, Oprah, my first friend, Ramsi (Also known as Paula), and my friend from a faraway land (or at least that’s what Ramsi says), Klaus (Also called Jeff). My mom thinks there is something going on between me and Ramsi, but… You know… I dunno… Yeah… … Anyway, Klaus is a pretty cool guy too. He can’t use the same psychic abilities that we use, which is odd, since he is easily the smartest of the bunch. Fortunately, his brains have allowed him to fix almost anything broken that we find. And he was even thoughtful enough to sell enough cookies back where he lives to buy me a T-Rex Bat!
So, back to the story. After our eyes adjusted to the light, we continued on our way. It was surprising that a graveyard could have led us to such a beautiful place. I heard some people in Threed talking about Grapefruit Falls, so I assumed that this must be the place. The Grapefruit Falls into a beautiful river, right next to these awesome hills. All the trees were flowing, there were tons of butterflies, it was like everything was alive, well except the zombies. Except for the rather excitable wildlife (We had a few run-ins with some alligators, and even some frogs tried to impede our journey!), it seemed like the perfect place.
Unfortunately, things are not always as they seem. After making our way through a few caves, we made it to this amazing village. We couldn’t tell if these “people” living here were ancestors of ours, or another species entirely. One thing we did notice was their immense friendliness and optimisim. They even let us stay the night for free!
So, after an interesting night (we couldn’t really figure out where to sleep. There was only one chair in the whole hotel and no beds), we went around and talked to the locals to find information about Belch. We found out that, sadly, Belch had enslaved many of the Mr. Saturns (what these “people” referred to themselves as) and even more alarming, Belch was working for Giygas! We knew that we would have to stop them, but we still didn’t know where Belch was. Fortunately, a Mr. Saturn knew the location (and password) of Belch’s base: Grapefruit Falls. It seems kind of funny, that the magnificiant Grapefruit Falls mask such a truly horrible place.
After waiting at the Falls for 3 minutes (freaking strange password), someone let us in. Boy, were we surprised when we found out that Belch’s base was really a Fly Honey factory! It was even more surprising that, instead of deploying zombies all through out, he relied on these creatures called Foppies. These looked, and felt, like my(strikeout) my sister’s stuffed animals at home. One swing of the bat would send them flying, never to bother us again. I actually felt kinda bad about it… Well, there was one good thing about it, for some reason, knocking these Foppies senseless greatly improved our abilities. I even learned Lifeup Beta from one!
Then, after beating Foppy after Foppy, we finally made it to Master Belch. He was a lot weaker than I expected, and us a few swings of the bat, shots of the gun, and smacks of the frypan to end his reign in Grapefruit Falls. The exit he was guarding led us straight to Saturn Valley. Boy, I wish we had known about that before! After getting the grime off of our bodies in the Hot Springs, the Mr. Saturns invited us for a cup of coffee, and I had some time to think…
I thought about what we had accomplished so far, and what we still had to do. If you told me that I’d be defeating zombies, saving cities, and paying off musicians’ debts a few weeks ago, I would never have believed you. I still think it’s strange that BuzzBuzz would come to me, a 12 year old boy, for help. But I am becoming more confidant in my skills and abilities. For the first time, I really think that I might be able to do what I set out to do, defeat Giygas. As I sat there and thought, I almost felt as if someone was talking to me, telling me where to go, what to do next… Then, Klaus and Ramsi shook me back to my senses, and we all headed to the hotel for one final night in Saturn Valley.
Day 15 was a short one. We got up and headed to a place called the Milky Well. I didn’t know anything about this place, except that it might be one of my “Sanctuaries”. Honestly, I still don’t know what all this Sanctuary business is about, and I don’t really understand how it’ll help me defeat Giygas…
So, we fought our way through flora and fauna (well, really just fauna: mushrooms and sprouts), and made it to this thing called the Trillionage Sprout. This thing was hideous, much worse than Master Belch. It looked like Master Poo Pile to me. Luckily, we were able to take care of it quickly, and my Sound Stone gained another song…
There’s something I should say… I don’t know what it means, but everytime that we get to one of these Sanctuaries, I feel something. Klaus and Ramsi say they feel it too, but I really don’t think they do. I don’t just feel good or relieved or whatever, I feel like a part of me is returning. Or maybe not returning, but something already there is being realized, if that makes sense. This time, I heard my mom talking about what she hoped I’d grow up to be…
Anyway, we made it back to Saturn Valley fine. Whenever we get a Sanctuary, the creatures in that area seem to know, and they avoid us. This is fine by me, as I was more than a little tired. We went back to Mr. Saturn’s hotel, and right when my head hit the chair, I was out.
We set out, once again, for adventure! We made it back to Threed, easily defeating the once difficult alligators and frogs with our new skills and abilities. I was extremely surprised to see sunlight, when we made it out of the cemetary. The cloud coverage had been so heavy before, that it looked night ALL the time. I don’t know if Belch somehow caused that, or if it was just a bizarre coincedence, but I was relieved to see the light. And, just to put the icing on the cake, the buses were running again! We could finally make our way to Fourside! Or so we thought…
Car horns. Yelling. Extreme heat. Apparently, in the middle of the desert (my luck. Actually, my luck is higher than Klaus’, so it was probably his fault), a buffalo ran out into the middle of the road and caused a huge traffic jam. One guy I talked to said it was the longest in the world, but I didn’t believe him. So, instead of waiting in the non airconditioned bus, we decided to head out in the desert on our own. I don’t know if that was smart of us or not, but at least it was interesting.
The first thing we noticed was that there was this ONE mole that hung around the general store. Just one, and he ran away if you got near him. That probably should have prepared us for the rest of the crazy stuff we saw in the desert, but it didn’t. Almost right after we saw the mole, we came across a community of “desert monkeys”. Quite frankly, when Klaus tried to point this out to me, I thought his brain was fried. I mean, desert monkeys? After that, things became more or less normal. We still noticed the really huge littering problem, that apparently plagues ALL of Eagleland: wrapped gifts EVERYWHERE. As I pondered just who might leave wrapped gifts lying around, we came across a man in desperate need of food or water. We gave him a leftover Calorie Stick (what the heck is that anyway), and to thank his, he promised us the gold he finds AND he let us sleep in his cabin. And that’s where we spent the fifteenth night on our journey.